my 2025 reflective
i realised i tend to waffle a lot when writing about my thoughts so i’m glad i have this little space on the internet to just write whatever. i can say whatever i want here like bleh bleh bleh. so this is going to be extra long LOL. even if you read like three paragraphs idc i love you thank you.
this is the second year i have taken the time to reflect on the past 365 days. if i had to describe my 2025, i think I'd say it has been a year of self-discovery in which small realisations have been stacking on top of each other, slowly changing how i see myself and my life.
one thing that has stayed with me throughout this year is the realisation that i am in fact living in an answered prayer. it took me longer than i expected to recognise that, and even now, i have to admit that the feeling comes and goes. there were many times this year where i was pushed out of my comfort zone and times where i wished i was more prepared, more confident, or more ready for what was happening to me. during those moments, doubt felt louder than everything else.
something i have had to remind myself of is that God would not put in situations He knew i couldnt handle. a lot of the time, my doubt made me overlook the blessings that were already present in my life. many a time i have been so focused on what i felt unprepared for that i forgot to look at everything i had already been given.
in october, i had a conversation with two of my friends about what our dream lives would look like. somewhere in the middle of it, i had a quiet realisation: i am already living my dream life!! maybe not in every single way, but in the ways that matter most. a past version of me could only hope for the kind of love and guidance i experience now. realising that felt grounding.
reading back on my 2024 reflective, i can see how excited i was for the year ahead. i really thought 2025 would be the year where i would finally figure myself out. looking back now, i can see that there is no final version of myself waiting at the end. I am always changing and learning, and i will continue to be shaped by everything i experience. accepting this was so freeing.
something that i wanted to focus on this year was the ability to take fragments of the world and use them to create a language only i can speak. i wanted to become more intentional with what i noticed around me and build my own identity through that. i wanted to focus less and less on what the world around me thinks and just pursue things just for the sake of trying it out.
curiousity followed me into this year and grew even stronger. i am so grateful to feel a constant pull toward learning and trying new things. this year i finally picked up the guitar, an idea that i had adored since i was a child. acoustic music has always held a special place in my heart, and being able to create those sounds myself feels like coming home.
i am also happy to say that this year has been a year of many firsts !!!!
- solving a rubik's cube (kinda)
- hot yoga
- prayer journalling
- skating
- going to scotland!!!
- therapy
- seeing greece
- eating a restaurant by myself
- cinema membership
- playing around with touchdesigner
- media ministry
- going on a hike with my best friends
- PASSING MY DRIVER'S TEST - I CAN DRIVE NOW WOOHOOO
- etc etc
something i’ve felt an abundance of this year is love. i am so blessed to see it all around me, and i am constantly reminded of that fact. whenever i have gone through periods of instability or doubt, i’ve known i could always lean back on basically everyone around me. it feels almost overwhelming, in the best way, to be surrounded by so many kind, generous people who hold me up without even realising it. i’ve started to see love as one of the clearest reflections of God’s presence in my life. every person who has comforted me and every moment that has reminded me of joy, feels like a small reminder that i am cared for. i’ve also learnt to recognise love in the ways i show up for myself. the quiet patience i give myself on bad days and the little routines that keep me grounded. through him i can feel joy in chaos! i am definitely living in an answered prayer.
there are a lot of things that have brought me so much joy this year like:
- perfumes
i have slowly started building a rotation instead of sticking to just one scent. for years i had been a loyal dior roses and roses merchant. but this year i started paying more attention to fragrances and what it adds to different parts of my day. i like the idea of having an everyday scent, a work scent, etc. lately i’ve been reaching for juliette has a gun’s powder love, and dedcool’s mochi milk. choosing a scent for the day has become a small ritual that makes ordinary days feel more intentional
- candles
there’s nothing that makes me look forward to coming home more than the idea of a quiet, cozy night in with a candle lit, warm lights on, and a good show or book waiting for me. i’ve found that i am especially drawn to dessert-like scents. something sweet in the background instantly makes a space feel softer and more welcoming. lighting a candle has become a small signal to myself that the day is done and it’s okay to slow down.
- pins
lately, i have been adding pins to my outfits, usually on a jacket or a shirt. it’s a small thing, but it makes whatever i’m wearing feel like mine, even when i am trying out different styles. even on days where an outfit feels simple, the pins help make it feel more personal.
- my cinema membership
genuinely one of the best decisions i made this year. so to make the membership worth it, i need to watch at least two films a month. instant no brainer whattt. it’s made seeing films feel accesible in a way it never did before, i can watch whatever i want whenever i want. i’ve seen so many cool films this year that i probably wouldnt have made time for otherwise. im constantly checking the cinema app to see whats coming up next or what i cn squeeze in after work. going to the cinema alone has become one of my favourite things to do.
- botanical gardens
i went to a botanical garden for the first time this year, and i loved it way more than i expected. there was something so calming about walking through the different spaces, noticing details i usually overlook in everyday life. i loved seeing plants i didn’t recognise, and reading more about them.
- concerts
music is so so so so so os o so sos os os oso important to me and ESPECIALLY LIVE MUSIC. i am so blessed to have seen so many amazing artists this year. music brings everyone together. ive had the privilege of going to concerts by myself, with my brother, or with friends yay. highlights were: rauw alejandro, clairo, ptv, unflirt, 2hollis.
some of my favourite films i've watched this year
haru - yoshimitsu morita - 1996
cutest slow burn evaaaa. haru is a film that centres on connection in a world that can often feel lonely. it follows noboru hayami, a young office worker in tokyo who often spends his evenings on early internet chat forums under the username ‘haru’. one day, he starts exchanging emails with another user in a film forum named ‘hoshi’. they don’t know each other’s real identities at first, but over time they share thoughts about life, love, doubts, and a bond begins to form between them.
what i adored about the film was that it felt gentle and sincere. there is no rushed romance or dramatic twist. instead, the film has you sit with the characters as their friendship deepens through written words and unguarded conversations. the film captures the early era of the internet, when connections were new and communication felt raw and honest. because their names and faces are hidden for so long, haru and hoshi can be vulnerable in ways that feel rare and real.
- uncut gems - benny safdie, josh safdie - 2019
i saw uncut gems during the a24/7 takeover event at the prince charles cinema in london. they did a raffle giveaway for the furby chain and idk why but i had strong feeling i was gonna win. i didnt lol. i had previously seen good time, and i already appreciated how the safdie brothers capture chaos in such an immersive way, but uncut gems took it to another level. the film follows howard ratner, a jeweller in new york, whose compulsive gambling and risky decision making pull him and those around him into escalating chaos.
i was on edge for most of the movie. the rapid cuts, overlapping dialogue, and the pulsating soundtrack came together like an anxiety attack. nevertheless, the film had sharp moments of humour that were completely grounded in the characters and their situations. i admire how the safdies don’t shy away from discomfort, and yet there’s also humanity and heartbreak embedded in the chaos.
3,000 miles - sean wang - 2017
3,000 miles is a personal documentary of sean wang’s first year living in nyc in which he pieces together footage of faily life with voicemails left by his mother while he is far from home. what emerges is a love letter to closeness and to the small, soft ways we try to bridge the distance with our loved ones. if you have ever lived away from home, this film will hit so hard.
books i've read this year
- lonely castle in the mirror - mizuki tsujimura - ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
lonely castle in the mirror is definitely a slow burn. it took me awhile to get into a consistent reading rhythm, but once i did, i was completely absorbed. the story follows a group of children who, for various reasons, feel isolated in their everyday lives. one day, each of them discovers a mysterious portal in their bedroom mirrors that transports them to a magical castle suspended somewhere between fantasy and dream. from there, they meet a girl in a wolf mask, the wolf queen, who tells them there’s a hidden key somewhere in the castle that will grant one of them a single wish.
what made the book so special was watching the friendships slowly take place. at first, the kids were distant, each carrying their own fears and insecurities, unsure if anyone else could understand them. over time, through shared experiences in the castle, they began to trust each other. their vulnerability reminded me so much of what i’ve seen in my own relationships. the way opening up takes time, and how support can appear in the quietest moments. seeing all of this unfold left me with a warm, lingering sense of hope.
if cats disappeared from the world - genki kawamura - ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
as a cat mom, this book caught my eye instantly!!! if cats disappeared from the world follows the story of a man who learns he has only a short time left to lie and discovers that the devil offers him a deal. for each thing he agrees to erase from the world, he can gain an extra day of life.
one of the strongest ways this book resonated with me was how it made me appreciate the present. the main character’s awareness of how fragile life is, and how each day carries its own weight, reminded me to notice the small moments i might otherwise take for granted. it made me think about the quiet, ordinary parts of my day like with walking to work or my morning routine. even something as simple as my cat sleeping next to me or a favourite candle burning in the evening felt more precious, and i found myself cherishing these moments with a little more intention.
the healing hippo of hinode park - michiko aoyama - ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
another book by aoyama that felt like a warm hug. the healing hippo of hinode park is a book that centres on a small community living in a five-storey apartment complex, all of whom are navigating their own struggles. at the heart of it is a weathered children’s ride in the shape of a hippo named kabahiko (uniquely named due to it sounding similar to ‘healing hippo’), sitting in hinode park. according to the local legend, if you touch the part of the hippo that corresponds with where you feel hurt, you will find some relief.
i had read aoyama’s book, what you are looking for is in the library, before, and i loved how both books follow various people navigating their own discoveries. each character’s story is small and intimate, yet together they come together to form a beautiful community of connection and healing. i enjoy the way aoyama captures ordinary lives in detail and how something small, like a conversation, or a shared smile, can cause a major shift in a character’s perspective.
some albums i listened to this year that hold a special place in my heart
it could have been nice - leonie biney - 2024
fav songs: summer, love you so, comedown
time flies - dexter in the newsagent - 2025
fav songs: with u, eighteen, don't feel the same
fleeting - unflirt - 2025
fav songs: sopro, cut my hair, sweet sweet time
son of spergy - daniel caesar - 2025
fav songs: baby blue, who knows, moon, sign of the times
feline's return act II - natanya - 2025
fav songs: ur fool, on ur time
said who? - kid apollo - 2025
fav songs: said who?, out of reach
yo, - peterparker69 - 2025
fav songs: cu, monkey see, @location
fancy that - pinkpantheress - 2025
fav songs: stars, stateside, romeo
daisy - rusowsky - 2025
fav songs: sophia, bby romeo, 4 daisy, (ecco)
2026
looking ahead to 2026, i feel a quiet excitement for all the experiences yet to come. i am looking forward to the concerts i have lined up, the books i’ll dive into, and the moments i’ll share with friends i continue to connect with and grow alongside. i am also eager to see how my journey with God will unfold further, trusting that each day will bring new insights, challenges, and moments of grace. there’s something comforting in knowing that life will continue to surprise me in both big and small ways. i hope to embrace it all with curiosity and gratitude, especially in ways my 2025 self probably couldn’t.
i pray my year will be centred towards:
- finally getting a car!!! please please please
- being my most creative self
- letting unfamiliar scenarios unfold by themselves without the need of trying to control the outcome
- read more and more books at my own pace
- building and nurturing my current and new relationships
- going to more exhibitions and travelling to new places
- learn to play barre chords please lol
