things that brought me joy in 2024
2024 has been a year of big and drastic changes having graduated from uni in july and finally entering the ‘adult world’ that i had been dreading so much. it's december now and, while the first half of the year was filled with constant anxious thoughts, i am so so happy to say that i have never felt so free and content in life!!! i am so grateful for the endless love and support i've received from my loved ones and the friends i've met along the way.
an abundance of things has helped fill my cup this year. the idea of creating a time capsule of all the things i love was so exciting to me so i've compiled a list of things that have given the most joy this year
being curious
read that journal article. go pick up that rock at the beach. ask your loved ones if they've learnt anything new today. watch that video essay. nothing you'll learn will be irrelevant!! ever!! looking back now, the sole reason i ended up taking up linguistics as a degree was because of my love for searching the etymology of random words i'd come across.
taking things slow
reading long books, following long recipes, making 15-minute hot drinks, going outside and taking everything in. i despise feeling rushed. honestly why pressure yourself this way, you're gonna reach your destination anyway.
customising everything
so much beauty comes with putting your own signature on things. i love that i can collect things that are physical forms of my interests. i love that someone can look at something of mine and think yeah thats kayla's
long public transport journeys
nothing brings me more joy than being on my way. i actually get a bit sad when i've reached my destination-no more time just to sit and think. when i lived in madrid id often take the longer metro route home just to process everything that's happened to me that day. i think it's the peace that comes with being in between things. no pressure to do anything at all.
worldbuilding in media
stemming from my love of taking things slow. a common denominator of many of my fave media is their incredible worldbuilding. i love reading pages upon pages of descriptive prose, watching quieter scenes in cinema, and playing single-player story-heavy games. it's part of the reason why my favourite author eva is mieko kawakami and a reason why i adore japanese storytelling
desire paths
my current favourite desire path is the one i walk on on my way to work under a road sign. so fun seeing the paths humans prefer rather than create. i think of pythagoras every time i cut a corner. fuck yeah
my cat
it's been 7 months since my family and i got our cat, our orion, and our cups have been overflowing ever since. it's been so endearing watching her personality develop around us. she only loves toys that she can chase and she has a specific feather toy that's been chewed to filth that she’ll always go crazy for the moment she hears the plastic of its packaging crinkle. she hates being alone downstairs during the night so i always make sure to leave my bedroom door open in case she wants to climb into bed with me. she can only eat her food if someones sitting beside her, occasionally petting her. during the morning work rush, she likes to sit by the window watching us go off to work. whenever she's sat on the computer chair she HATES being touched. she WILL slap ur hand away. our couches and tables are scratched, but seeing all the little orion-shaped holes and marks never fails to make me smile.
jarritos
i will never forget the first time i drank a jarritos. drinking the bottle while round carlos’ for the second time telling myself i'm going to remember this exact moment forever and ever. that shits like crack to me. my brother also bought me a crate of jarritos for christmas. thanks bro
wired earphones
i used to exclusively wear headphones. i have a pair of airpod maxs that i love so so much. they fared me well during busy library days. now i never leave the house without my wired earphones; the apple ones specifically. so convenient having my earphones plugged directly to my phone with the little volume buttons on the right side. idrc if my music is leaking too much while on the bus. i love that i can still hear everything around me whilst blasting music directly into my eardrums.
iced matcha lattes
i love blank street matcha lattes :) whenever i go london i always make sure to grab one from there.
top 4 films
films i watched this year that have lingered in my heart
- frances ha - noah baumbach - 2012
watching frances ha as a fresh graduate was like seeing a mirror held up to my own uncertain, and messy life. baumbach’s direction along with greta gerwig’s authentic performance, captured the liminal space of your 20s in which you are no longer tethered to the structures of education but not yet anchored to the stability of adulthood. how can someone be so paradoxically self-assured yet so utterly lost? i resonated with frances’ struggles on a visceral level-chasing a dream that feels just out of reach, navigating friendships that evolve in disorienting ways, and grappling with the fear of being left behind. her awkward optimism and refusal to ever give up felt like a warm hug wrapped in a reminder that its okay to not have it all figured out. life is seldom a linear journey!! a beautiful companion for anyone feeling lost
we couldn't become adults - yoshihiro mori - 2021
kinda related to a 46 year old man as a 23 year old… we couldn’t become adults is a hauntingly beautiful meditation on time, memory, and the people who shape us-whether they stay in our lives or drift away. watching this film through the lens of someone who feels a deep, almost painful nostalgia for every connection i’ve ever had was an emotional and cathartic experience. it follows saito, a man in his 40s, as he reflects on his past and the dreams he let slip away. one of my favourite cinematic moments was the shift in aspect ratio as the film transitioned into saito’s memories with kaori, or the ‘one that got away’. reflective of how memories can trap us within their boundaries, the limited frame emphasizes how saito and kaori’s time together exists in his mind as an artifact of the past. here, mori visualises the deep emotional truth of nostalgia in which they are memories that are both precious and constraining. how they can transport us to a world where we felt most alive, while also trapping us there. the film’s exploration of ordinariness resonated with me due to its reflection on the universal truth that most of us will not lead lives of fame or exceptional achievement. why fear a life of 'ordinary' when even the simplest of lives are filled with moments of connection, love, and beauty?
cinema paradiso - giuseppe tornatore - 1988
such a beautiful beautiful beautiful film: the perfect homage to cinema. watched this one with carlos and it left me with a heart full of nostalgia and a renewed appreciation for the stories that shape our lives. cinema paradiso centers around the wholesome relationship between a young toto and alfredo, the projectionist of a small sicilian town who becomes his mentor and surrogate father. tornatore delicately crafts a heartwarming narrative blending the bittersweet charm of childhood with the reflective wisdom of adulthood. the film's score was the cherry on top, enhancing the film’s emotional depth and wrapping each moment in a safe cocoon of sentimentality.
the holdovers - alexander payne - 2023
the holdovers is a deeply touching exploration of loneliness, connection, and the surprising places we find belonging. watching it as someone who felt isolated during the early months of my final year made it all the more impactful. set during the winter break, the film captures the unlikely bond between paul hunman, an irritable teacher, and angus, a troubled student left behind at their boarding school. the initial friction that ensues between the two slowly gives way to understanding, as they discover shared vulnerabilities and begin to fill the voids in each other’s lives. my biggest takeaway from this film was how it portrayed loneliness not as a tragic flaw, but as a deeply human experience. there’s always a possibility of connection even in our loneliest moments
top 3 books
this year marked the second year into my reading journey since high school. i read 5 books this year!! here are my top 3 :)
- breast and eggs - mieko kawakami - ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
as a woman this is definitely a required read. this book, divided into two parts, follows the story of natsuko, female bodily autonomy in japan, and the concept of ‘woman’. the theme of fear and loss is so prevalent in this book, proving relevant to the female experience. the first part, breasts, dives into women’s society-given duty to be sexually appealing and the struggle to maintain the illusion of constant adhesion to social standards as we age (fear of ageing and loss of youthfulness). the second section, eggs, looks into the relationship between the sexual societal responsibilities given to women and the enduring biological responsibility for women to have babies. this book covers a range of feminine experiences that are side effects of misogyny and poverty on the female body and spirit (fear of losing control of one’s own life). something i absolutely adore about kawakami’s writing is her ability to talk about the smallest observations so intimately. side note: as someone who used to read haruki murakami, it is interesting to see how much he advocates for kawakami’s works, considering his own treatment of his female characters, existing solely to fulfill a sexual function.
all the lovers in the night - mieko kawakami - ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
reading this was like reading my own diary. delving into themes of depression and deep loneliness-it was as if kawakami had her own little place in my mind and this story was built on the ecosystem of my thoughts and feelings, beautifully rendering all feelings of anxiety and loneliness with so much clarity. the book plays through the eyes of fuyuko irie, a proofreader living a solitary and regimented existence. i started this book during the first couple months of my final year of uni when most of my closest friends had already graduated. i felt very alone during these months and any form of media that mirrored this feeling would give me a temporary boost. the novel is also a deeply feminist exploration of the particular ways women experience loneliness and fuyuko’s isolation was partly shaped by societal expectations to conform, and remain cheerful. the recurring motif of light throughout the book was so wonderful and charming and is proof that we really are everyone we’ve ever met (a reference to another character in the book). the protagonist’s fascination with the changing light of the seasons and her growing awareness of the beauty around her symbolised her steps toward self-discovery and connection. this book was so so devastating and hard to read at points due to how much i related to the protagonist's emotional difficulties, even writing this paragraph makes me want to cry.
what you are looking for is in the library - michiko aoyama - ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
this book was like a warm hug. it follows 5 completely different characters as they enter their local library, meet the librarian, komachi, and come out with books that inspire them. one of my biggest problems in life was feeling like there was so much i wanted to do and achieve with such little time to do them all. my biggest fear of mine is the thought of settling in life, knowing there’s still much i want to learn. one lesson this book taught me was the concept of ‘parallel careers’ in which you have a job that can support you financially and another that keeps you happy. the ultimate idea is that none of the careers sits secondary to the other and that each career takes up an equal amount of space in your heart.
some albums i listened to this year that hold a special place in my heart
charm - clairo - 2024
fav songs: nomad, second nature, PIER 4!!!
atp - nsqk - 2024
fav songs: tarde o temprano, blamegame, aún te pienso
april's nectar - unflirt - 2023
fav songs: white noise, just pretend
dunya - mustafa - 2024
fav songs: hope is a knife, leaving toronto, i’ll go anywhere
chasing moving trains - roy blair - 2024
fav songs: karaoke, hummingbird, GARDEN!!!
this is how tomorrow moves - beabadoobee - 2024
fav songs: one time, tie my shoes, girl song ever seen, post
jonah yano & the heavy loop - jonah yano - 2024
fav songs: no petty magic, snowpath
supernova - ralphie choo - 2023
fav songs: total90nostalgia, gata, máquina culona
salsa valentina - rojuu - 2023
fav songs: dumbdvd erasmus, pequena bestie
2025
reflecting on all the things that brought me joy in 2024 has been such a fun experience, as it's allowed me to see how much growth, happiness, and discover i've encountered this year. from the books that transported me to new worlds, to the films and albums that served as the perfect soundtrack to my journey, each of these moments has played a role in making this year unforgettable. as i step into 2025, i carry with me the lessons, memories, and pure joy that these pasisons have given me, and i can't wait to see what new things i'll embrace next!! looking ahead, there are even more experiences i want to explore and goals i want to pursue, and i'm excited to dive into this next chapter of this adventure :))
- solo dates
- being my most creative self
- writing essays on random interests of mine: one of the things i miss most since graduating
- read at least 5 books
- get my license
- invest in therapy
